"Mail Order Bride" and, by extension, "Russian Brides", are negative terms. They are extremely loaded by the stereotype of poverty-stricken women who exploit men's sexual and emotional needs to obtain money or a green card to the United States. Numerous scams have been exposed that enforce the negativity; there were men who posted photographs of models and then asked their mail order clients for money. Other times, it has come to light that the women whose profiles appeared on mail-order sites were being sold off by their relatives. Sometimes, women genuinely posted to find a husband but were then manipulated by American men for sex.
Overcoming the Stereotype of "Russian Brides"
The reality is that there is negativity and stereotyping on both sides. No one can vouch for the intentions of every single person who goes in search of a date or a marriage partner. However, women who seek marriage at Loversplanet are carefully screened. They are not products, or a set of pictures to be viewed as sex objects. Women who seek marriage at Loversplanet are real; with families, friends, life-experience, careers, possessions, and dreams. They are, moreover, taking a chance on you, the men who view the site, that you will take them seriously and not objectify them or dismiss them as potential spouses. They are real women who want to become the friend, lover, and wife of a genuine man. They want to be mothers and raise families. The majority of cases end with just such a happy ending.
One extreme success story was described in the London Evening Chronicle's article entitled "Desperately Seeking Love", published in May, 2004. Fifty-five year old Frederick Malcolm was determined, after two unsuccessful marriages, that he wanted someone to spend the rest of his life with. He found Iolanta, eighteen years his junior. They exchanged e-mails and, within three months, Frederick was in St Petersburg to meet her. He said, "I proposed to Yolanda within half an hour of meeting her and couldn't ask for a better wife... I could never have imagined in a million years that it would work out so well... I love her with all my heart." This couple celebrated the birth of their first child within a year.
Totally for Real: What Russian Women Want! Naturally, many American men find it incredible that women really want these things - fidelity, commitment, family. In the context of scamming and marriage fraud associated with some Russian Bride agencies, it is tempting to dismiss women who claim to want these things all together; and many do. But Russian women are raised differently. European women, even the hard-working and dedicated professionals amongst them, tend to be more family-orientated than American women, even if they are also career-minded.
Why do Russian Women search for a husband abroad? The most common reason is the lack of Russian men available (the 2000 census reported 12 million more Russian men than women). Some Russian women also find their male counterparts unreliable, unstable, and unmotivated; certainly in comparison to Americans or other Western Europeans. Many women on Loversplanet are also over 25 years old; they probably have a fair recollection of life under a Communist dictatorship. Despite the changes Russia has undergone, many are still disillusioned. They want to be absolutely sure that their children are raised with all the advantages that they were forced to do without.
They are looking to devote themselves to a conservative family unit, as many American men are. The result... many times American men and Russian women are a perfect match! |
