Q: I've been dating a guy for about 6 months and things are good except for one thing - he is almost always late for our dates. I try not to make a big deal out of it, but it is really annoying. Should I just get used to this or what?

A: Everyone gets to be late every now and then. That's life.

When someone shows up habitually late, that's not life. That's character. It's also arrogance.

It's arrogant because what this person is telling you is that they believe their time and convenience is more important than your time, convenience, and feelings.

I believe the solution is to become unavailable for waiting, past a very few minutes. Becoming no longer available for something is another way of setting a boundary. A boundary is simply a way of saying "don't go there."

I'll even give you the words - "I've noticed that you are often late for our times together. What can we do to solve this, because from now on I am no longer willing to wait around."

If the person is willing to work on this with you, then you just might have something worth hanging around for.

If this person conitnues to make excuses and is not willing to work on this with you, then you might not have something worth hanging around for.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com

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